Thanks for your efforts, Tony Clark.

Here's what I think is going to happen. The Padres are going to mount a record charge from the depths of the division. They're going to take advantage of the continued struggles of the D-Backs, Dodgers, Rockies and Giants, and move into a tie with the D-Backs for first place on the last day of the season. Then, facing the Rockies, the D-Backs are going to lose while the Padres beat the Buccos at PetCo Park to clinch the division and move on to the playoffs by one game.

And the difference?

It'll be that bomb T. Clark hit off Billy Wagner on a Sunday afternoon in San Diego in early June - his only bomb as a Padre - that put the Padres in the playoffs.

What a beast.

So good luck, Tony. Here's to hoping you do well with the D-Backs, but not well enough to help them win a lot of games.

And Evan Scribner, welcome to the Padres organization. You are now a beast in your own right. Carry on, son, and I hope you make the majors soon to help out the Big Club.