Larry "DeKalb" English

Larry,

You've got a lot of nerve.

A. Lot. Of. Nerve.

I mean, listen, I'm ecstatic that you were the Bolts #1 pick during last weekend's NFL Draft, and am already chalking up your selection as yet another classic "A.J. Snake," the likes of which have brought Shawne, Phil, Darren, Kris, Antonio and Vincent into the San Diego fold. Not only do you seem to be an eloquent, classy, stand-up individual, but from what I've heard you've got the skillz to go out and dominate quarterbacks with the same intensity as our boy Shawne Merriman himself. I can hardly wait until Ron Rivera puts you, Shaun and Shawne on the field at the same time and cuts you loose to wreak utter havoc.

In fact, let me be the first to congratulate you on that two sack game you are going to have in Pittsburgh on October 4th.

That's going to be choice.

But despite all this, I have to tell you, I'm not happy with you.

I know all about your dominant collegiate career. Your four years as a starter, your 237 tackles, your 31.5 sacks, your back-to-back wins of the Vern Smith Leadership Award, given each year by MAC league coaches not to the best defensive player in the conference, but to the best overall player in the conference. You were the first defensive player in MAC league history to win the trophy twice.

I also know you grew up in Aurora, Illinois, a fine Midwestern suburb of the great city of Chicago.

I know all this about you and, knowing all of it, I can't help but get annoyed at one simple fact.

You didn't go to the University of Illinois.

Nope. Somehow, coming out of high school you chose Northern Illinois over the Illini. Why a young man of your stature would chose DeKalb over Champaign I just can't fathom. Perhaps you had your reasons, Lar, but darned if I can figure them out.

Trust me, I'll do my best to forget this disappointing fact about your past, but I can't say exactly when that will be.

I'm gonna need a little time.

Best,
Bevormo

ps - I'm guessing I'll be over it right around the start of training camp. I've never been one to hold a grudge. Especially against guys who play outside linebacker in the National Football League.