Kyle,Word on the street is that the Padres have called you up from Portland and you'll be at Petco this evening with the Big Club.
Congratulations, my good man, on your Major League debut.
Now, if I may be so bold, allow me to give you a bit of advice on some immediate actions to take when you arrive at the Park today. By following this advice you'll announce your presence with authority and immediately let the rest of the team know you're here to stay.
1. Drop a deuce in Brian Giles locker. This is a pre-emptive move because it is certain that Brian will be dropping a deuce in your locker soon. If he hasn't already.
2. Say hello to Chase Headley. Make sure to walk up to Chase and say, "Hey man, thanks for holding down my position for me. But I'm here now so you and your .230 batting average can plan on seeing a lot of pine." I'm sure Chase will appreciate that. It's bonding.
3. Get interview advice from Heath Bell. Heath is the only current Padre who gives good interviews. Seek him out this afternoon and get some tips on how to be interesting and provocative with the media. It's a sure way to get quoted on ESPN. If Heath isn't available, give Phil Nevin a call.
4. Ask to wear #19. Just kidding.
These are just a few things you can do today to take your mind off tonight's game and endear yourself to your new teammates. Feel free to improvise as needed.
Good luck.
Best,
Bevormo
No comments:
Post a Comment