No Playoffs For The Bolts

I don't know who this guy is, but what I heard is he came home from Christmas vacation, a few days after the Bolts were eliminated from the playoffs, to find the playoff tickets he prepaid for in November in the mail.

Sure, he'll get his money refunded, but that's still cruel.

As for me, I'm still watching the Bolts - Broncos game today. A few pick sixes of Tim Tebow should cheer everyone up.

E-mails To My Advisors Subsequent To The Bolts Loss To Denver

Tuesday morning, in the aftermath of the disappointing Bolts loss to the Broncos on Monday Night Football, I wrote the following e-mails to my advisors Tatt Mareeco, Father D.P. McGillicutty, Geleaux and Tam O'Flannell:

First, at 10:44 AM EST:

F football

Then, at 11:01 AM EST:

That game was stupid. I'm sure McDaniels would have gone for it on fourth down and still got the TD, but under no possible view of the Stokley catch was that a touchdown.

Then, later in the morning, at 11:16 AM EST, I wrote this to my Dad, Mr. Bevormo:

That was a very disappointing second half.

And finally, at 11:37 AM, I wrote this to my friend, The Div:

That jblew.

And that's all I have to say on the matter for the time being.

An E-mail I Sent To My Advisors Last Week

Here is the text of an e-mail I sent to my advisors last Friday after reading that Bill Simmons had picked the Broncos over the Chargers in tonight's Monday Night Football game. Simmons' reasoning was that Josh McDaniels and Mike Nolan are superior coaches to Norv Turner and Ron Rivera.

Everybody needs to calm down before we anoint McDaniels and Nolan geniuses. Let them win at the Q and maybe we can talk, but so far they have benefited from absurd luck, an easy schedule and knowing a lot about the Patriots playbook and personnel (not to mention Brady dropping multiple steaming deuce piles on the filed at Mile High).

Also, Brian Dawkins and Champ Bailey ... meet Phil Rivers, Vinnie Jackson, Antoine Gates, Legs Naanee, Malc Floyd, Chappy Chambers and Darren "Lightning Bug" Sproles.

Good luck with that.

And that's all I have to say on the subject.