"Illinois Mike"

Looks like Michael Hoomanawanui (known affectionately to Illini fans as "Uh-oh") is making a name for himself on the big stage.

Loved this tidbit from Peter King's MMQB column:

"It's Ho-OH-ma-NOW-uh-noo-ee.''-- St. Louis rookie tight end Michael Hoomanawanui, explaining to me the correct pronunciation of his last name in the locker room Thursday night.

Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo calls him "Illinois Mike,'' because, as he says, "I have no chance at that name.'' He'll have to call him something. Hoomanawanui caught two touchdown passes against the Patriots and has been one of the big stars of Rams training camp.

As I wrote this morning to my advisors J.J. Geleaux, Tam O'Flannell, Father D.P. McGillicutty, and Tatt Mareeco, "Illinois Mike" looks like the third Illini pass-catcher from last year's squad who is making his presence felt in the NFL. Both Arrelious Benn, a second-round pick, and Jeff Cumberland, an undrafted free agent who looks to make the Jets team, are also getting strong reviews in the preseason. The fact these three guys are capable of playing at the next level but never broke through in a big way with the Illini, underscores the futility of the '09 Illinois team.

I don't know if the blame lies with Juice Williams, or one-and-done offensive coordinator Mike Schultz, or maybe just the Zooker, but last season was a mess.

A new year, and a new team, gets down to business this Saturday.

Jablonski "Rico" Noel ... Greatest Name Ever?

A few years ago, among my friends, I coined the term "jablonski" to describe someone who was, shall we say, kind of a mix between a dick, a nerd, an ass and a tool. For example, one might say, "Tim came into my office at 5:oo on Friday and gave me some work to do over the weekend. He's such a jablonski."

The term caught on and gained wide usage among my advisors, including such stalwarts as Tatt Mareeco, Father D.P. McGillicutty, JJ Geleaux and Tam O'Flannell. So imagine our jubilation this month when the Padres drafted none other than Jablonski "Rico" Noel in the fifth round of the June MLB Draft. Oh my were we stunned and amazed.

Imagine for a moment if Jablonski someday reaches the Bigs in a Drinos uniform. He has the potential to completely change the meaning of a word. Forever on Jablonski will have made "jablonski" cool.

The implications are enormous to say the least.

So here's to wishing Jablonski Noel success as he moves up the Drinos farm system. As of today, after only a handful of professional games, the Padres have already pushed him to low-A ball in Fort Wayne.

That's a positive sign even a jablonski could appreciate.

E-mails To My Advisors Subsequent To The Bolts Loss To Denver

Tuesday morning, in the aftermath of the disappointing Bolts loss to the Broncos on Monday Night Football, I wrote the following e-mails to my advisors Tatt Mareeco, Father D.P. McGillicutty, Geleaux and Tam O'Flannell:

First, at 10:44 AM EST:

F football

Then, at 11:01 AM EST:

That game was stupid. I'm sure McDaniels would have gone for it on fourth down and still got the TD, but under no possible view of the Stokley catch was that a touchdown.

Then, later in the morning, at 11:16 AM EST, I wrote this to my Dad, Mr. Bevormo:

That was a very disappointing second half.

And finally, at 11:37 AM, I wrote this to my friend, The Div:

That jblew.

And that's all I have to say on the matter for the time being.

An E-mail I Sent To My Advisors Last Week

Here is the text of an e-mail I sent to my advisors last Friday after reading that Bill Simmons had picked the Broncos over the Chargers in tonight's Monday Night Football game. Simmons' reasoning was that Josh McDaniels and Mike Nolan are superior coaches to Norv Turner and Ron Rivera.

Everybody needs to calm down before we anoint McDaniels and Nolan geniuses. Let them win at the Q and maybe we can talk, but so far they have benefited from absurd luck, an easy schedule and knowing a lot about the Patriots playbook and personnel (not to mention Brady dropping multiple steaming deuce piles on the filed at Mile High).

Also, Brian Dawkins and Champ Bailey ... meet Phil Rivers, Vinnie Jackson, Antoine Gates, Legs Naanee, Malc Floyd, Chappy Chambers and Darren "Lightning Bug" Sproles.

Good luck with that.

And that's all I have to say on the subject.

Peter King Must Be Kidding

I note that Peter King's "Fine 15" today did not include everyone's favorite team, the San Diego Super Chargers.

Here was my response to that omission that I penned to my advisors Tatt Mareeco, Father D.P. McGillicutty, Tam O'Flannell and Geleaux at 11:05 AM EDT.

Peter King puts the Ravens at #1 in his Fine 15 but the Bolts don't even make it? The Bolts could have won that game just as easily as the Ravens. Is he really telling me that one stupid tackle by Ray Lewis (on a missed block by a backup offensive lineman) is the difference between the Chargers being probably 5 or 6 in the ranking and not even making it? Meanwhile other teams that made it include: Green Bay (lost at home to the Bengals and should have lost at home to the Bears), the Bears (who won a soggy rain soaked game at home only because Jeff Reed got the jimmy leg), the Eagles (who got obliterated), the Pats (who have not looked good other than for about 3 minutes at the end of their first game) and Tennessee (who has yet to win a game).

Is he kidding?

I submit to you that yes, he must be kidding.

Where Is Everybody?

Roll call:

- Kevin Correia is on the mound against the San Francisco Baseball Giants, losing 2-1 in the top of the 3rd;

- my advisor Tatt Mareeco is sitting on his sofa watching Rafael Nadal play in the U.S. Open;

- my advisor Geleaux is sitting on his sofa watching the Giants-Padres game and watching Rafael Nadal play in the U.S. Open;

- my wife, Mrs. Bevormo, is at the U.S. Open with some friends watching Rafael Nadal play live in the U.S. Open; and

- I am sitting in my office at 10:58 PM EST doing the Man's work under flourescent lightbulbs and surrounded by reams of paper and the roar of the night cleaning crew vaccuming the hallway carpet.

Awesome.

PS - E-mail sent from my wife to me about an hour ago:

"U.S. Open celebs in attendance (in no particular order): The Donald, Michael Phelps, Tony Bennett, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

"Bevormo's office celebs in attendance: none."

Ouch.

Always Have A Back Up Plan

Together with my advisors Tatt Mareeco, Geleaux and Father D.P. McGillicutty, I was planning on taking the subway out to Yankee Stadium tonight for a little Mark Buehrle - CC Sabathia action. Alas, the forecast is calling for heavy rains throughout the evening.

Luckily, the Yankee game isn't the only thing happening in New York City. Instead of slogging out to the Stadium, we have decided to hit a few midtown watering holes, followed by a dinner consisting of red meat, potatoes and a token green vegetable. You know, stuff you can only do in Manhattan.

I'll try to monitor our boy Kevin Correia's start against the Mahlins, but I can't make any promises.

I can guarantee, however, full attention to tomorrow night's Bolts-Falcons pre-season tilt. That's going to be choice.

Tatt Mareeco Gets Published

It's no secret that in recent years the Big Ten Conference has taken a few beatings in the Rose Bowl. Most notably, the outstanding 2007 Illini squad led by Juice Williams, Rashard Mendenhall, Arrelious Benn, Vontae Davis and J Leman, had their butts handed to them by Pete Carroll's USC Trojans. The only upside of that game was that I was able to attend and spent 8 hours tailgating before the game.

Granted, that's some pretty high upside.

Last January was no different as USC pounded an overmatched Penn St. team.

These losses - and others like them - led many members of the media to criticize the Big Ten for having less talent than other marquee conferences, including the Pac 10.

Not so fast says my trusted advisor Tatt Mareeco. Using his keen college football analytical skills honed over 30+ years of studying college football, including 4 years at the University of Michigan, Tatt discovered a common trend among the Big Ten's recent Rose Bowl losses.

He then told ESPN's Adam Rittenberg about it and Rittenberg put Tatt's question in a "Big Ten mailblog." The Q&A is below.

Tatt from NYC writes: Adam,You and others have said the Big Ten needs to win the Rose Bowl to regain its reputation. I've also seen talk that our problems stem from the fact tha we constantly get two teams in the BCS so all of our teams have to play up in competition. Really, I think our problems stem from USC getting screwed out of the championship game every year. Let someone else play them and the Big Ten can take on number two in the Pac 10. I think you'd see the Big Ten do just fine then. It's not like I see any SEC schools chomping at the bit to play the Trojans. Lord knows those guys will schedule anyone, where as Florida won't leave the state of Florida.

Adam Rittenberg: Good assessment, Matt. No team in the country wants to play USC in a meaningful game, and the Big Ten has seen the Trojans four times in the Rose Bowl this decade. I can't imagine the Big Ten's Rose Bowl losing streak would be what it is had the opponent been Oregon, Cal or Oregon State. Having only one BCS team would improve the league's overall bowl prospects, but the Big Ten wants its teams on the biggest stages with the biggest payouts. Two BCS victories after the 2005 season certainly helped, and the Big Ten could make a similar breakthrough this year, if the matchups fall right.

Very illuminating. No doubt Tatt is correct that Big Ten teams like '07 Illinois and '08 Penn State would have smoked the Cal, Oregon and Oregon States of the world. It's nice to see Rittenberg jump on board and agree with Tatty's expertise. It's also nice to see that the creampuff non-conference schedule Urban Meyer puts together every year at Florida is getting its proper ridicule.

I for one will look forward to additional insight from Tatt throughout the college football season.

What's The Zooker Been Up To? Just Getting It Dun Is All.

Coach,


You've really been getting after it these last few weeks. And by "it" I mean young high school boys.


Just kidding. I mean that's a true statement but I didn't mean it that way. What I mean is you've been getting after it on the recruiting trail as of late and again showing your unequaled prowess in that area of your chosen profession. Just in the last 10 days or so you've added to a 2010 class that already included Chandler Whitmer, Shawn Afryl and Corey Cooper, these three beasts:

1. Daniel Easterly, S, Cass Technical HS, Detroit, MI



Daniel is a 6'4" 197 pounder out of Detroit. He is known as an athlete and a hard worker, two qualities you have to love in a player. Plus, you never want to discount the toughness of a kid who comes out of Detroit. Just ask my advisor, Tatt Mareeco, a native of Flint, Michigan. Tatt is not that tough in his own right, but he knows a lot of guys that are.

2. Mark Wilson, MLB, Lincoln HS, Tallahassee, FL




Mark is a 6'2" 225-pound linebacker who is currently dominating the Tallahassee area. I don't need to tell how many beast athletes play football in Florida, and I'm glad to see you trick another one of them to leave the state of Florida and come to Champaign. Don't get me wrong, I think Champaign is awesome. But that's got to be a hard sell to a 17-year old who grew up around palm trees. Anyway, Wilson is a monster. Nice job.

3. Dexter McDonald, CB, Rockhurst HS, Kansas City, MO



Dexter is a 6'2" 180-pound corner from the great city of Kansas City, Missouri. That's another sneaky tough city. Any place where Eddie Griffin and Ernest Hemingway used to hang out - not at the same time mind you - is a pretty tough place. Dexter is yet another top athlete you've brought into the fold at Illinois and, since he has only been playing football since his sophomore year of high school, his chance at high upside is intriguing.

Well done, Coach. Well done.

Best,

Bevormo

Whitmer ... Nike MVP

Chandler,

Nice work on winning the MVP award at the Nike Camp in Champaign this weekend. I see you beat out, among others, three of the top QB prospects from the state of Michigan.

Of course you did.

From what I hear "you were the day's most consistent passer, showing great accuracy, footwork and coachability."

Looking forward to seeing you in the Orange and Blue in Fall 2010.

Best,
Bevormo

ps - Incidentally, I learned about your MVP award by e-mail from my advisor, Tatt Mareeco. Mareeco, as you may or may not know, is a die-hard Michigan fan. I'm pretty sure you've earned a begrudging respect in Mareeco's eyes by winning the award this weekend, a feeling I'm sure you'll cement by torching the Michigan defense for 4 TD passes sometime in the Fall of 2012.

The Padres Are Making Me Angry

Dear Reader,

Yesterday, watching the Cubs pile on against the Padres en route to an 11-3 victory and a sweep of the three game series at Wrigley, I lost my composure a bit. There I was, mild-mannered Bevormo, sitting at my desk just typing away on some document, the mlb.com broadcast of the game playing on the computer, when all of a sudden the Padres sheer ineptitude sent me into a controlled rage.

I had to roll up the sleeves of my Michael Kors dress shirt I was so angry.

It was Duaner Sanchez that put me over the top. I sat there and watched him give up back-to-back-to-back doubles to the Cubs' murderers row of Bobby Scales, Aaron Miles and Ryan Dempster, and I just lost it. I immediately composed the following e-mail to my team of trusted advisors: Tam O'Flannel, Tatty Mareeco, Father D.B. McGillicutty and Geleaux.

The subject line was "Duaner Sanchez" and it continued

is no longer a big league pitcher.

Nor is anyone else on the Padres except for Peavy, Young and Bell.

You're probably already aware of this, but that is not a recipe for winning baseball games. Nor is cutting the payroll from 70 million to 40 million without any advanced pitching prospects. I hate Becky Moores and her intolerance for John Moores doing a little dukin' on the side. I really do.

I also hate the elbows of Cesar Carrillo, Nick Schmidt and Steve Garrison, and the shoulder of Tim Stauffer. And I hate the weak sauce of Cesar Ramos and Josh Geer, and the scouts who suggested using high draft picks on college pitchers with weak sauce.

I don't consider myself a "hater," and, to be honest, I don't hate anyone listed in the above e-mail. Nor do I know the true reasons for the Moores' divorce so I apologize for suggesting in any way that John was unfaithful to Becky and it was that that caused their split. I don't know the reasons, and the reasons themselves aren't any of my business (but really, why else would any couple end a marriage of 40 years unless one of them is duking people on the side ... I submit to you there is no other reason).

Truth be told, I'm not really this down on the Padres, but like any true fan I can't stand to sit there and watch my team get beat up over and over again without letting off a little steam. To his credit, Tatty Mareeco recognized this, and responded later in the day with this e-mail:

At least you've got A-Gon. That guy is a Beast. Maybe you can trade him to the Sox for two of Buchholz, Bowden and Masterson and then bring up that 1B prospect you've got. They've got plenty of pitching and might like the bat to replace the artist formerly known as Big Papi.

Yes, at least the Padres have A-Gon. What an absolute monster. He's like Pujols if Pujols was a Mexican-American who played in a pitchers ballpark and had a brother who also played in the major leagues. I can't imagine a Padres team right now without Adrian, which is why I responded to Tatty as follows:

If any team wants AGon and his 45 bombs a year for the next four years at less than 6 million per, they're going to have to give up a treasure trove of top pitching/middle infield prospects. I'm not sure any team has the package necessary to get AGon from the Padres. He's young, has an affordable contract, might be the best power hitter in baseball, and is a San Diegan with Mexican heritage who is the only everyday player anyone in San Diego would consider coming to Petco to see play. Scott Hairston aside.

That's right, I love me some Scotty Hairston. But this post isn't about Scotty, it's about Adrian. There isn't a package of prospects in the world right now the Padres should trade Adrian for, unless maybe Robin Yount, Mike Schmidt and Doc Gooden all of a sudden happened to be prospects again and some team wanted to trade them straight up for him. Then I'd maybe say Moorad should greenlight a deal.

Maybe.

Anyway, I'm already feeling a little better about the Padres after writing this blog post. Blogging is like a warm bath in that you still feel dirty when you're done, but you also feel a lot more relaxed. In that way it's also like a happy ending massage. Or so I've heard.

I sense a win against Cincy tonight.

Best,
Bevormo

Guest Post: A Rebuttal In Favor of Larry English's College Choice

Note to our reader: From time to time this humble blog will have guest posts written by true sports fans who also happen to be friends or acquaintances of mine. These posts could touch on any topic, but will most likely address some aspect of the guest writer's favorite teams. Today, in a response to this blog's post yesterday questioning Chicago-native Larry English's once-upon-a-time decision to attend Northern Illinois instead of the University of Illinois, I am proud to offer this guest post by Michigan alum and renowned Big Ten football expert, Tatt Mareeco.

Dear Bevormo,

Larry would have loved to have played for the Illini. Sadly, Larry was a late bloomer or someone that the scouts just dropped the ball on. He was a 2 star recruit according to Rivals. The list of schools with interest in him was as follows: Northern Illinois, Toledo, Iowa, Ball State, Bowling Green, and CMU. You should apologize to Larry for being baselessly mad at him. You should also thank him for not going to Iowa where he apparently would have wreaked havoc on your Illini, or in the alternative would not have developed into the now Charger beast you believe him to be today.

Regards,
Tatt Mareeco

Thanks, Tatt. This blog always welcomes the opinions of others. And you're right. It's certainly possible the Illini knew about English coming out of high school and just decided he was not a worthy recruit. Unfortunately Ron Turner never left his sofa his last few years as Illini head coach so I doubt English was even considered by the Illini.

But your point is well taken. Ronnie T.'s blatant attempt to get back into pro football by refusing to recruit for the Illini is no reason to hate on Larry English.

Consider me upbraided.

I'm Not A Good Padres Fan

Scotty,

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I missed your heroics last night. The only part of the game I watched was the final out of the top of the 9th and then the bottom half when Heath closed it out for his sixth straight - thrilling - save. I missed your bomb, your go-ahead double, Nick's bomb, Luis' bomb and Chase's laser from right field to nail Greg Dobbs at the plate and preserve the Padres slim 1-run lead in the 8th.

I missed all that and I have no one to blame but myself.

Actually, I guess I can also blame the cable guy who never fixed the television feed upstairs at McGee's, where I was for happy hour with Geleaux, McGally and Tatt Mareeco. Knowing McGee's has the baseball package, I asked the bartender promptly at 7 PM EST if he could put the Pads-Phillies game on one of the four upstairs televisions. He told me that the cable was broken upstairs and the guy had not come around to fix it yet. He was kind enough, however, to confirm that they were showing the Padres game downstairs. Literally, a six second walk down the stairs from where we were standing.

Of course we didn't go downstairs. The main reason, I'll admit, was that the bar was crowded and we didn't want to lose our spot by the upstairs bar. But also I happened to glance at the score around 7:20 and saw that the Phils were already up 5-0. I'm not gonna lie ... that put a damper on my desire to watch the game.

It wasn't until about two hours later that Geleaux happened to glance at the score again and said the Drinos were only down 7 - 5. Even then I didn't rush downstairs. Instead, I casually finished another Stella and by the time we got downstairs you had already put the Padres ahead with that choice double down the third base line.

I was extremely pleased but immediately felt the pangs of regret.

I promise I won't miss anymore of your heroics.

Best,
Bevormo

Criminy!

Bruce,

What ... was that? A 38-33 loss? At home? To Penn St.?

38 to 33?

Snakes that was a strange bad loss. Not only was the team shooting like they didn't want the ball to go through the hoop, but even when they did start to make some shots, they managed to blow a nine-point second half lead.

That potential 3 or 4 seed now looks a lot like a potential 6 seed.

It's not just Illini fans that are upset. That loss may have jobbed up the whole Big Ten. As my advisor Tatty Mareeco, a Michigan fan, wrote this morning:

Also tell Weber and the boys thanks. My squad is having enough of a hard time making the tourney basedo [sic] on their suspect play, I didn't need your boys to gift wrap a game for PSU last night.

Tatt can't spell but he does have a point. Not that I think Michigan is a tournament quality team, but after last night's game, barring some unforeseen conference tourney runs, the Big Ten is looking at 5 teams in the Big Dance. Shameful.

The Ohio St. game on Sunday now looms larger than before. I know you can rally the troops and pull out a win in Columbus.

Best,
Bevormo

Kurt Bevacqua ... Query

Kurt (aka Secret Weapon),

I don't mean to disturb what looks to be a very busy retirement, but I have a question for you. A few of my advisors - Tam O' Flannel, Father D.P. McGillicutty, Geleaux, Tatty Mareeco - have asked when this blog is going to start interviewing former members of the Padres, Chargers and Illini.

Considering that you are probably the greatest Padre of all time not named Tony Gwynn or Trevor Hoffman, they naturally suggested you as the first interviewee.

So, what do you think?

For my part, I have to say I am intrigued by the idea. My first reaction, however, was to wonder just how many f bombs you'd drop if some random blogger - me - dialed you up and asked to conduct an interview. I can't imagine you'd be too pleased with that. I'm tentatively setting the over/under at 43 f bombs, but I guess it really depends on the length of the call.

Anyway, I figure you have a lot better things to spend your time on - like playing poker, heading to TJ or taking batting practice down at Petco and sending blistering line drives off Kouzmanoff's bald noggin. But maybe not. Maybe you would be interested in an interview.

I may be in touch soon.

Best,
Bevormo