Adrian's Patented Opposite Field Bomb Swing

Adrian,

Above, in all its glory, is your patented opposite field bomb swing. This photo was taken in the first inning of last night's dagger 8-7 loss to the Rockies. You jetted a 3-run bomb to left field off the Rockies' Jason Hammel.

David Zalubowski of the Associated Press caught the tail-end of your bomb swing. Looking at your body language in the photo, you obviously know it's gone at this point.

What a beast.

I submit that over the first two months of the 2009 season your opposite field bomb swing represents the best opposite field bomb swing ever. That is, of all time. That is, it's the best opposite field bomb swing in the history of baseball.

If the Padres ever erect a statue of you in the Park at the Park I submit that this should be your pose.

Win today against Colorado.

Best,
Bevormo

CY In The Mountains

CY,

Tonight you throw down with the Rockies at Coors Field. I'm pretty excited for this game because I have a hunch you're going to be at your gangly best and will toss one of those rare pitching gems in the mountains.

Like Han Solo, I'm sure you never want to be told the odds, but here are your career numbers at Coors Field: 3-2, 6.00 ERA, 33 IP over 7 starts, with 17 walks and 26 strikeouts. Your WHIP is 1.55.

Basically, what I'm telling you is that I'm bucking the odds and going with my gut tonight.

And my gut says, "grbglblrglf." (That's "Chris Young will win tonight" in gut.)

Best,
Bevormo

ps - I met your wife once in Pittsburgh but I only talked to her for a second and it was before you were married and there wasn't much chemistry anyway. Not that she's not hot. Because she is. But I wouldn't touch her. Not that she's not hot enough to touch, it's just that I wouldn't. Because we're boys. There, now you know. I'm sorry.

Numbers Of A Contender

Take a look at these numbers:

.190 2 19 .285
.239 0 14 .318
.326 5 20 .386
.285 18 34 .385
.234 4 19 .290
.237 4 19 .310
.219 1 4 .286
.182 3 6 .262
.095 0 0 .136

What is this list of numbers? It's the batting average, bombs, ribeyes and on-base percentage of the Padres starting lineup in yesterday's 8-5 win over the D'Slacks.

In order:

Giles
Eckstein
Hairston
Adrian
Kouz
Headley
Burke
Blanco
Peavy

What a pack o' beasts.

I smell Wild Card.

Comeuppance Is A Comin'

Derrick,

Well, it was only a matter of time I guess. The Karma Gods already slayed Kelvin Sampson for being a shady bastege at Indiana, and now it looks like they are on the prowl for your alma mater, possibly in connection with your recruitment.

Of course you and your ex-coach, Slimipari, are probably untouchable in the investigation leaving Memphis and its new coach, Josh Pastner, to bear the penance for your actions. Not that I really care. That whole program reeked of shadiness the last few years so I hope the NCAA takes a flamethrower to the place, Colonel Frank Slade-style.

With Kelvin long gone, the investigation of Memphis underway and the Tim Floyd-O.J. Mayo debacle unfolding over on the Left Coast, pretty soon the only guy left standing will be Bruce Weber, the White Knight, standing on a hilltop, the sun setting behind him, ready to dispense fair play on the land.

What a beast Bruce Weber is, eh Derrick?

Too bad you were never man enough to play for him.

Too bad you'll never be the caliber of player of Deron Williams.

Sweet dreams.

Best,
Bevormo

ps - After further research it appears the current Memphis team will not face penalties for the past violations. Instead, Memphis might just have to forfeit its victories and Final Four appearance during the '07-'08 season. With what happened at UMass back in the day, Calipari might never get to a Final Four that counts.

Power Rankings For Fools

ESPN released their mid-May NFL Power Rankings today.

Here are their top 7 teams.

1. Stillers
2. Patsies
3. Gints
4. Iggles
5. Scrolts
6. Ravinians
7. BOLTS

What a load of horse puckey.

ESPN honestly thinks the Chargers are only the seventh best team in football? Is that some sort of joke?

Let's look at the teams ESPN thinks are better than the Bolts and see if they pass muster.

1. the Steelers: they won the Super Bowl and have most everybody back. They lost a deep-threat receiver and it'll be interesting to see if my boy Mendenhall is any good and if Ben Roethlisboober has any drive to win this season with the extra ring weighing him down, but generally I'm fine with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

2. the Patriots: Brady is back and they're good with Brady, but there are questions about his knee and some questions about the defensive secondary. I'm marginally okay with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

3. the Giants: They get Umeniyora back but Plax is gone. Just like Felipe Rios is better than Eli Manning, the Chargers are better than the Giants. I'm not okay with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

4. the Iggles: Everyone is fawning over their offensive pickups. Okay, so let's see them on the field before we blindly decide they're going to integrate seamlessly into the offense. Also, don't forget defensive genius Jim Johnson is taking a leave of absence. I'm not okay with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

5. the Colts: What a joke. How many times do the Chargers have to beat on these guys before people realize they aren't as good as the Bolts. They are working with an entirely new coaching staff and Peyton no longer has Marvin and Reggie in their primes. People can wish that Anthony Gonzalez is a fitting replacement for those beasts but he isn't. And their defense has a total of two good players both of whom are always injured. I'm not okay with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

6. the Ravens: I just vomited up my spaghetti dinner all over my sofa. Luckily my sofa is 8 years old and was free. The average age of the Ravens defense is 46 years old, they lost their defensive coordinator, they have a tougher schedule next season and Flacco is only entering his second - i.e. sophomore - season. They might win 8 games. Might. I'm not okay with them being ranked ahead of the Chargers.

So that's that. The Chargers are a top 3 team in the League at worst. Any opinion to the contrary is a foolish opinion.

I hope nobody at ESPN showed Shawne Merriman these rankings. He'd eat their head off.

I've got no more use for this witness.

"Hey Ed, how many times did the Padres win during their homestand?"

"Nine times."




"Grace!"

A Strong To Quite Strong Night At Petco Park

Friday night was my first visit to Petco Park since June 2007, a span of nearly two years. While I am ashamed to admit that fact, I beg your pardon because I do live many many many miles away from San Diego. That's not a good excuse for missing Petco for nearly two full seasons of baseball, but it's the only excuse I have.

But Friday night was all that is good and true and great about Petco Park and downtown Drino baseball. Peavy threw a gem against a hated opponent, the Scubs, and a young man named Tony Gwynn, Jr. got on base three times, scoring twice. Also, the bullpen threw three shutout innings, Brian Giles knocked in two runs in classic Bri style and Adrian went yard with one of his patented opposite field bomb swings.

Not to mention, because this was 1984 NL Champions Weekend, they sprinkled videos of the '84 squad on the jumbtron throughout the game.

And there were fireworks after the game.

So choice.

So after my return to Petco for the first time in nearly two years, I had a few impressions/observations of the park. For those of you lucky enough to live in the Diego, this is not news. But here they are:

1. Petco Park is really coming into its own. The Padres are letting the hanging ivy grow in the concourses and it looks really choice. Kind of a like a botanical garden. It matches perfectly with the sand beach stucco of the Petco facade. Well played, Petco maintenance staff.

2. Downtown is really coming into its own. When I first went to Petco in April 2005, the view out to centerfield was a hodgepodge of cranes and half-built condos. That seemed to last even until 2007. Now, at least out to the centerfield view, most of the condos are finished and it seems that the views from the Park will be static for the foreseeable future. It's not as dramatic a view as PNC in Pittsburgh, but it is much better use of an urban stadium than, say, Natty Park in D.C. or the new Yankee Stadium, which has no views to nothin'.

3. Beers are 'spensive. Last week I went to the new Yanquis Stadium for the first time. Nine dollar beers. I expected that in the Bronx. Then I went to Petco on Friday and saw the price of a 16 oz. Coors Louie was $8.25. I almost spit up my Rubio's fish taco. And then proceeded to buy multiple Coors Louies.

4. Nate Kaeding. I'm pretty sure Nate Kaeding was sitting six rows ahead of me at the game with a few of his boys. Either it was Nate Kaeding or some mid-sized blonde dude. It's hard to tell with Nate. Given he went to Iowa, Nate is probably a Cub fan. I promise not to hold that against him as long as he is a beast kicker for the Chargers.

5. Tony Gwynn ... Jr.? Tony Gwynn, Jr. made his debut for the Padres on Thursday night. On Friday, the Padres were introducing Gwynn, Jr. as "Tony Gwynn" and the back of his jersey simply read "Gwynn." So shady.

More on Saturday night's game when I get the pictures downloaded.